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"This is about It's true that one of the first men I meet fits that profile perfectly. tells me he can't have the kind of sex he wants to have with his wife because she's unwilling, and, on some level, he doesn't want to do those sorts of things with her.He complains that she performs oral sex as if it were a chore.

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It doesn't matter, because he says he can imagine my voice; he says he knows exactly what it must sound like.

When he is standing on the soccer field and children are moving around in a blur, he says, he slips out of the game and thinks of me, and if his Black Berry vibrates in his pocket, he hopes that it is me.

He says he likes it rough, and tells me he cheated for the first time a few months ago.

He was in Vegas for a bachelor party, and he took a girl from the blackjack table upstairs to his room. Biderman is right about types like F., but wrong that all the men on Ashley Madison want sex and sex alone.

It was wild, he says, and then puts his hand on my leg. is 32, tall and slim, and has been married for two years. There are plenty of men like B., who says he is happily married when what he really means is he is complacently bored. "Either way," he says, "it's driving me crazy."What's terrible is that H. The woman he is thinking of cheating on is still only his fiancée.

He's been with his wife since they were just out of college. I remove his hand from my leg; I tell him he doesn't look like a father. He says he did not marry the wrong woman, that he'd want to stray no matter who he was with. In one of his emails, he says he can't write too much, but there are 800 words, and pictures of him and his children. He says she's as close to perfect as any man could hope for, but it's clear he's conflicted.But most have taken their pictures recently and surreptitiously.In their bathrooms with their i Phones held up to the mirror, their faces partially obscured, their wives' J'adore behind them, on top of the toilet.There are the ones who just want to meet to have sex; you can tell because their handles are direct and uncomplicated: Yours4Lust and Deep Passion Man.They list measurements and ask for yours, as though it's merely a matter of fitting one puzzle piece into another. Instead, I respond to the thoughtful ones, whose tales might help answer my questions.In between his kid's soccer game and a pizza party, B.* sends a picture of himself on a golf course.

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