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Ultimately, the first fight is a great chance for you to set up ground rules for future fights so that you can get along as smoothly as possible in the future! Seth is a licensed clinical psychologist, author, Psychology Today blogger, and TV guest expert.
He practices in Los Angeles and treats a wide range of issues and disorders and specializes in relationships, parenting, and addiction.
The worst – but most common – mistake that couples make in their arguments is to overreact.
To some extent, this is true, but I will clarify the difference.
The key is not the frequency of arguments but rather the intensity and duration of the arguments.
"As such, there is much room for misinterpretation and less chance to practice communicating one's needs and feelings, and to empathize with one's partner." It goes beyond not checking your email during your weekly viewing of with your significant other (and ignoring his or her annoyed sighs).
It means paying attention to how the other person feels about the relationship, and not losing sight of that.
With unhealthy couples whose fighting is a major problem, they treat each fight like the end-all, be-all argument.
Couples who won’t last get stuck trying to win arguments or they get totally panicked that the fight – or more fights – will eventually lead to the end of the relationship.
Also, set up a rule about the length and intensity of your arguments.
For example, I work with a couple who has a knock-down, drag-out fight once per month.
If it’s the other person, after the storm ends, you need to have a serious conversation and ask if this behavior reflects a pattern.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating